Counseling

Most women leave their first appointment at Neume Counseling saying, “Wow, someone finally gets me!” Most men leave their first appointment saying, “I finally have a tool to use in my relationship.” My First Counseling Experience Perhaps your past counseling experience was similar to mine. The counselor asked me, “So how do you feel?” She asked me this same question four sessions in a row. I finally said, “I feel terrible or I wouldn’t be here.” She offered no advice. She did not solve my problem. I found no benefit. I quit attending sessions with her. A New Kind of Counseling Years later someone introduced me to a new kind of counseling. I was astounded. My husband was astounded. We began referring others to this new therapy. Then we both became certified counselors ourselves. Schedule time with me What’s the Difference? Traditional personality tests assess you from the outside and hope to define who you are in your inner man. Personality is like the clothes you wear and to some extent personality can be changed to fit your environment. The Arno Profile System determines your temperament. Temperament defines the bones or the structure of who you are from the inside and then explains why you chose an outer personality to wear. Can Temperament change? Would you wear a black tie outfit to work in your garden or go to the beach? Well, may be for a garden or beachside wedding, but usually you wear different clothing for different events. You change your clothing. Personality is like clothing. To some extent your personality can be changed to fit your environment or your needs. You cannot change your height, or the width of your shoulders or hips, or the size of your skull. With plastic surgery some changes can be made. Diet can alter appearance only to a degree. Your bones are your bones. Temperament is like your bones. Temperament is the part of you that you cannot change. What can I change? As you grew and moved through life, you learned to wear clothing that complimented your bones, your skin tone, and your shape. You learned which situations you were best suited for, and which ones challenged your ability to cope or function. These experiences led you to develop character habits, hiding or diminishing some aspects of your temperament and leaning on others to fit in, to win, or to survive. But who wants to just survive? In our world of super models, movie stars, and business moguls, expectations for success are high. As early as middle school or perhaps even in your family of origin, you learned to wear some sort of facade to fit in. This is when you began to develop your personality. Personality is what you wear over your temperament to make yourself accepted in your environment. How can this help me? Just like knowing your bone structure and your height will help you choose better clothing, knowing your temperament and how you are designed to function best, will help you to find people and situations of life that are best “suited” to fit your inner you. Do you want to live your best you? What are you looking for in a counselor? Are you looking for someone to ask you how you feel, or would you like to know how to live your best version of your inner you? To learn more, book an appointment with Debbie today.